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The Best Thing to Say to Someone Who Won’t Try to Understand You
“True love is born from understanding.” ~Buddha I believe one of our strongest desires in life is to feel understood. We want to know that people see our good intentions and not only get where we’re...
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How Better Communication Changed My Relationships and My Life
“When we avoid difficult conversations, we trade short-term discomfort for long-term dysfunction.” ~Peter Bromberg Have you ever looked around at other people’s lives and wondered, “How do they do...
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How I Stopped Overexplaining and Found Calm in Conflict
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor Frankl For a while, I forgot about that space. When conflict entered my life—first with my...
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The Hidden Lesson in Projection: It’s Never Really About Us
“What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Don Miguel...
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How to Speak from the Heart: Let Your First Word Be a Breath
“Mindfulness is a pause—the space between stimulus and response: that’s where choice lies.” ~Tara Brach We’ve all been there. A sharp reply. A snide remark. A moment when we said something that didn’t...
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I Thought I Was Protecting My Peace, But I Was Just Avoiding Conflict
“Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.” ~Brené Brown If the title of this...
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It Takes Two, but a Better Relationship Starts Right Now with You
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ~Maria Robinson It can be tempting to think you need a new partner to create a better relationship,...
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Easily Annoyed by Your Partner? A Relationship-Saving Approach
“You are not your feelings. You just experience them. Anger, sadness, hate, depression, fear. This is the rain you walk in. But you don’t become the rain. You know the rain will pass. You walk on. And...
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Share Your Truth: 4 Reasons to Stand Up for Yourself
“If you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others, hurting feelings, and living with the reality that some people just won’t like...
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How to Prevent Your Ego from Running Your Life
“The ego is not master in its own house.” ~Sigmund Freud What does that mean? If the ego is not in charge, who is? Before diving deeper, let me tell you this story. That Little Voice Again My jaw...
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3 Important Things to Remember When People Are Mean
“Be kind. Be thoughtful. Be genuine. But most of all, be thankful.” ~Unknown Nobody is spared from being on the receiving end of a mean comment at some point or another. And it’s been said time and...
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How to Transform Your Relationship by Feeling Your Feelings
It was late at night, and my husband and I were having an argument about the same subject we’d been arguing about for two decades—cooking and cleaning. The argument seemed to come out of nowhere. We...
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How to Overcome Relationship Conflict with the Internalized Other Practice
“You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” ~John Steinbeck In the early stages of my relationships, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what the other person was thinking....
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When You’re Terrified of Conflict: Why True Intimacy Means Speaking Up
“Conflict avoidance is not the hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and of poor communication.” ~Harriet B. Braiker I walk on eggshells in my...
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How Sensitive People Can Stop Taking Things So Personally in Their Relationships
“The truth is that the way other people see us isn’t about us—it’s about them and their own struggles, insecurities, and limitations. You don’t have to allow their judgment to become your truth.”...
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Why We Don’t See Other People Clearly and How to Start
“If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance, but I’d be dancing with myself.” ~Billy idol Spending long periods of time alone—as I’ve done while traveling solo over the past year—is an eye-opening...
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5 Simple Ways to Overcome Your Mind’s Constant Judgments
“It’s easy to judge. It’s more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience, and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods. Through judging, we...
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Why People Are Rude and Unkind (and Why It’s Not About You)
“How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” ~Paulo Coelho By nature, I am a happy, optimistic, idealistic person. I have always been one to look on the...
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Feel Hurt in Your Relationship? How to Get Your Needs Met and Feel Closer
“The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.” ~Deepak Chopra I used to handle hurtful situations in relationships the same way. I’d get angry, shut down, get irritated, or...
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Calling Out Bullies: Why You Need to Stand Up for Yourself
“Standing up for yourself doesn’t make you argumentative. Sharing your feelings doesn’t make you overly sensitive. And saying no doesn’t make you uncaring or selfish. If someone won’t respect your...
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